WTHIGO #3

Every culture has its strange public customs. Many people are aware of the Encierro, the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. There was even a custom during the long reign of The Most Serene Republic of Venice in which the people of the city divided into two equal teams and spent the day beating the crap out of each other for sport. Asian cultures are no exception. Both at home and abroad, communities of Chinese people practice their famous Dragon Dance and wish good luck to local businesses with firecracker displays. Human behavior is, when taken from the outside perspective, quite strange.

I don't know enough about Japanese culture to delve into the history of certain public events without some research, especially considering that Japan is a future-leaning society. They do new things all the time and are more than willing to embrace new holidays. That's the first thing I thought of when I saw the following video.

What the Hell is Going On:

In my astute, professional opinion as an objective journalist and occasional anthropologist, what I believe we're seeing here is the customary Hasamiuchi Washi-Sai, the "Flank Attack Against the Papier Mache Rhino". Papier Mache has a long history in the Far East. It is possible that it originated there, if not in the equally innovative Persia. Since its invention, Papier Mache has played an integral role in the military and civic preparedness of the Japanese people. What this video depicts is a 2000-year-old custom in which two of the stoutest men in the prefecture don a papier mache rhino suit and do their best to attack and maim anyone they come across.

There is no mercy in the Hasamiuchi Washi-Sai. All of those who cannot escape or successfully defend against the rhino will suffer its full wrath. Like a secular version of the Stations of the Cross, the rhino meets with the many historical methods of combating a sudden rhino assault. First is the earliest method, the ancient "poking ineffectively with long, blunt sticks" method, thought to have come from an undocumented prehistoric technique known as "poking ineffectively with short, blunt sticks". This evolved, as we see in the video, into the "jabbing in the eye with long, blunt sticks to minimal but noticeable effectiveness".

During the contentious Edo period, the "knock each other over while holding blunt sticks" method arose. Thousands died annually in rhino attacks as a result. New Western influences in the late 1700's brought the "toss a bucket within several feet of the rhino" method which is credited with saving countless lives, including that of senior shogun adviser Hotta Masayoshi. It was not until the introduction of European firearms that the eventual "Just shoot it with a tranquilizer dart and be done with it" method came into popular use. A robot is rumored to be involved in the next evolution of the demonstration.

What's Actually Happening

A drill at the Tokyo zoo demonstrating what would happen in the event of a large animal's escape.

How Accurate I Was

6/10- Culture does not develop in a vacuum. The methods they used in this highly choreographed demonstration likely came as the result of centuries of trial and error. I feel no shame in my supposed inaccuracy.